Buying All Houses









There’s something I have to get off my chest. One of my old friends from university has been very successful in his career. Well, that’s quite an understatement, actually. He started a business that is now worth billions of dollars, and his personal wealth is almost just as impressive. Ted is very generous with his money, but there’s one thing about him that really bothers me. See, back in university, we were both really into this anime called MiniMon – short for miniature monsters. In MiniMon, there’s a whole world of creatures that you can capture and make your pets, and the story is about a boy, Charcoal, who wants to catch them all. It seems that Ted has taken that ideology and carried it with him into the real world, except with housing instead of cute monsters.

Basically, Ted has been going around to every real estate agent and conveyancer he can find, buying up all the houses he can get his hands on. It all started with a conveyancing firm in Caulfield, with Ted buying his first house, before turning into a full-on obsession. He is determined to own every property in Victoria one day. I’ve tried to explain that we are currently going through a massive housing crisis, with people being forced to live on the streets, but he won’t listen to reason. As someone who lives in Victoria, I can see this becoming a real problem in no time. What happens when Ted wants to buy my house? Last I heard, he was speaking to a conveyancing firm based near Prahran, finalising his latest house purchases.

It won’t be long before conservative newspapers start writing stories about Ted and his ‘entrepreneurial spirit’. About how his grit, determination and hard work led to him making the smart investment in 47 houses. Never mind the fact that his business makes obscene profits through cheap labour in other countries. It just doesn’t sit right with me. I feel like I should cut off my friendship with Ted because this all just feels so unethical, but then again, he did buy me that $10,000 watch the other day…

Scroll to Top